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How to teach teenage child ?

When Will My Teen Be Normal Again?

It seems like your once precious angel has turned into an alien. You don’t recognize him anymore and he seems to always be in trouble. He talks back, stays out late, doesn’t answer your questions on where he’s been, and worst of all – he’s getting poor grades in school. He always used to get excellent grades, especially in Science and Math. But lately he barely makes C’s. You just don’t understand what’s going on, nor how to fix it back like it used to be before he turned into a full blown teenager! This is teenage rebellion.

What’s Changed from Generations Before

Teens are desperate to be “all grown up.” This comes, in part, by the biological fact that as human beings go, our current century is the only one whereby teenagers weren’t in fact considered adults. They were able to get married, start a

How to teach teenage child ?

How to teach teenage child ?

family, hold a job, provide for themselves and their family; basically humans above age 13 were able to do almost anything that an adult currently does in our world today. Biological clock aside, today’s world has brought technological advances that require our teens to stay in school longer to gain education on these technologies and also require our teens to be more mature before being released onto society – for instance, behind the wheel of a one-ton vehicle hurling down a stretch of pavement at speeds of 55 to 70 miles per hour or more. Another factor that adds to this changing dynamic is that we live longer due to health and medical advancements. Many countries believe that it is in the country’s best interest for their younger generations to stay in school longer and get education that will help them compete globally in this new-age information and technology era. Most countries today don’t allow their citizens to go into battle until they reach the age of 18, or somewhere thereabouts. This is in contrast with our breeding, our inborn genetics and our behavior patterns that go back thousands of years, back to the beginning of mankind.

Power Struggles

So it’s no wonder that teens today want to be treated like grownups. Biologically speaking they believe that they are indeed already adults. But in reality the teens of today are not ready to be adults, loaded with today’s adult issues and responsibilities. Therefore we struggle to help them get through their teenage years whilst hopefully teaching them how to become the adult we hope they will one day be. Power struggles inevitably ensue. Fights about curfews, homework, household chores, and respect occur constantly – replaying over and over like a broken record. You want to get along, you don’t want to fight. But it seems like no matter what you say, you are treated with a healthy dose of disgruntled teenage angst.

What should a Parent Do?

Knowing that all your teen really wants is to be treated like an adult; you can present win/win scenarios and take your house back from the alien that has temporarily inhabited it.

For starters you need to sit down and talk to him. As the adult you need to be able to keep all emotional outbursts and anger of your own in check during these conversations. After all, if you want to open the lines of communication, and you aren’t currently punishing your teen for a transgression, you need to be the responsible voice of reason in these conversations and set the tone for how you expect your son to respond to you. Let your son know that you want to talk because things have gotten out of control and unnecessarily ugly lately and you don’t want to live like that and you’re sure he doesn’t either. Next, lay down some simple and non-negotiable ground rules. Curfew is a good one to draw a firm line in the sand on. Most areas have curfew laws, so blame the government if you have to, but communicate clearly and succinctly that there will no longer be any curfew transgressions tolerated. Ask why he has been breaking curfew – if there is a good reason why his curfew needs to be extended, you are open to having that conversation. But once you leave this conversation you need to be on the same page that the curfew is law.

Now go into how much work it is to make a house run and how you need your daughter’s help. You want to have time to enjoy with her and to enjoy your friends and hobbies too, but there is just too much for one person to do. You aren’t trying to be mean to her and boss her around – you just need help. Additionally, in preparation for her departure from the house itself one day, you want to give her more responsibility so she will be ready when the time comes. Which is, after all, what she really wants. Let her know that if she wants more privileges and less nagging, she has to pull her weight around the house. Ask her what chores she will take on each day to help out. From there on out don’t nag – just calmly remind her that she isn’t holding up her end of the bargain and she will lose privileges if she doesn’t show that she can be responsible.

Talk, communicate and agree – together – what tasks your son will be responsible for and what privileges doing so will gain him (possibly less microscope on where he is and what he’s been doing if he takes full responsibility for being home on time). Let him know that school work is his job and number one responsibility and that if he cannot show you that he can be responsible there, then he won’t earn the privileges he so desperately wants to have elsewhere.

At the end of the day, teens just want to be treated like adults. Therefore calmly sit down and explain things to them – you aren’t trying to punish them, you just need and want their help, and you want to give them more leeway – but they need to show you that they deserve it. In time, they will understand these concepts and will be more receptible to your requests – and calmness will return!

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